thinking.

miss you when your here.
miss you where your gone.
hate you when your right.
love you when your wrong.
thinkin about you while your sleep.
and listen to you too.
cranky when you wake.
but i really like that too.
pretty damn glad, that your mine.
we both act tough, hidin the sensitive side.
but its alright its okay.
prefection in my eyes. i like you anyway.

How Could You Not Miss That.
Mm Mm Mm.
But Wassup Today Hasnt Ended Yet But Its Okay.
DIdnt Sleep Stayed Up Catchin Up With Krys.
Got Some Cereal And Took My Ass To School.
WE discussed Us And Everything And We Can To An Conclusion..

[oh you thought i was gon tell you?]

Like Justin Said..

"I'm Lovin It"

Today was a normal day. chilled didnt do much of anything really.
i got awoken by a beautiful voice and then fell right back to sleep. been bored tho. it wasnt nothing to so. i had plotted on going out till it started raining. then it stopped, and then it started snowing again. that sucked. real talk. so i chilled. watched my brother and my cousin get high and beat me in pool for three dollars, which will unfortunately go to another nick or dime bag. i been really tryna start on my mixtape but im gettin set back but procrastination, my group members that i want featured or too high to focus on the task at hand(n****s yall aint wayne). i didnt go to work last week so this week i dont even no if im hired or fired and dont care. i guess ill see in the morning what the verdict is.

um, i need another job. i might be a SPERM donor :)
requirements :
college degree
a lil spermmie
safe sex
and
...
ALOT OF SEA-MEN.

1000 bucks of semen? are u kidding me? nigga id be one rich as professional chicken choker forreal. id be liek baby imma call u back i gotta make this money. :) oh! and did u no that whale puke is worth 30,000$. im going scuba divin soon. :)


On the im loving it topic again. come on what else imma talk about. this shit is new to me man. amazes me each day. affter hearing your emotionalls this evening made me realize that the wayyou feel effects me the same way your effected. when your mad, im mad that your mad. when you sad, im sad that your down. when your happy, im happy. its been like this. and after hearing your stories. it makes me appreciate you more. and im glad to have you in my lil loserish life. :)
thank you real talk. each day that past im more and more greatful. and the day i fuck up is the day i downgrade and the day ill give up. cuz i cant let this past.this is all i been waiting on. now i got it i just need for everything else to go right and im good.

[goes to make that sperm money]

i survive another day.

Yall Niggas are sicken.
constantly wondering df is goin on with me.
yall get no more recognition.

.......




yea, so back to bloggin. im gettin back to my rap thing now. tryna still find a name for the mixtape. lately i been on chill mode. like just layed back been relaxin. i didnt go to work this weekend because of my aunt passing and i went to the funeral. seeing her like that was crazy because when i think about it it really hits me about her. like i actually knew her. she actually was a person i spend time with in my life. who let me spend the nite over there house. who fed me. who drove me too school. who i got in a accident with. its crazy when i was writing this, i was so close to sheding a tear, because i still havent yet. but yea, i just had to get that out. i wish i could of spent more time with her. this making me think of how we need to appreciate life.

um, i been thinking about certain people who i let good. or havent spoke to in a minute. and i figured. if there meant to be in your life then things wouldnt be the way they are. so, imma keep this one short and just say its up to them.

Krys : you love me?
: ugh no.
: [pouts]
Krys : [rolls eyes]
: you love me?
Krys : i wouldnt say love.
: what would u say
Krys : like alot.
Krys : and leave it there
: yea thats how i feel. i no i dont love you in that sense, but i have deep feeling for you that i dont mind having
Krys : good.
Krys : so the feelin is mutual
: yes.
Krys : :)
: [heart smiley]


hmmm, real talk. i no its not love. i no i just never took no one as seriously as i take her. like i can say i have. but if u was in my shoes. you be know everytime she opens her mouth. its something that u dont have to second guess. grr. sometimes i be like df is goin on. then other times i be like " i like this shit". i was told im mean.
i think its from fuckin wit dum females and talkin to JAY alot. even tho i havent been lately, my nigga be talkin to china so he forgot about me. BROS BEFORE HOES MAN!.

i think i have moodswing. okay i admit it. maybe i do. cuz sometimes i be like okay. im kool. the next im rethinkin that shit. this is only occasionally.

im horny.[i kidd]
[gimme head til my nose bleed ]

New Song Exclusive

For The New Mixtape
Yay Or Nay?

Comment?

Starting The Mixtape

Just Finished Writing The Intro Track.
I Got titles In Mind for the mixtape But if u can help contribute to my thought process
it would be all appreciated my fellow Americans.

Drop a Comment With Suggestions. Ill Pose The Intro Track A Lil Later.

[Thanks]

new day. new shoes

"rather mine, I don't know what made me leave that shit
Made me speed that quick, let me see - that's it
It was the cheese helped them bitches get amnesia quick
I used to cut up they buddies, now they sayin they love me
Used to tell they friends I was ugly and wouldn't touch me
Then I showed up in that dubbed out buggy
And then they got fussy and they don't remember that
And I don't remember you.."

i noticed people change. and i thought usually for the better but damn. df is the point of you be a big ass bitch? AND why do people front. nigga if u dont wanna holla say u dont. if u gon act funny when i speak dont speak to me anymore. if somethings occupying your time. then let me no. damn fake funny ass,

ANYFUCKINWAY

todays been a cool day. woke up was soppose to go to church but didnt. got up at like 12:00 i think.
sat up and listend to the blueprint and i am doing now. krystal ass been sleep all day and ion like missn her. called her ass and she still aint wake up so i was kinda bored and didnt have no oen to bother. played with my lil sister. she gon be 2 next week. crazy how time flys aint it. i remember the day after her mom had her i was scared to hold her.. now im tossin her in the air and holdin her upside down. i love her to death. me and her counted to one hundred today. how cool right? we bought her a new fish with big eyes. i named him goggles :). we got some red and green lil fishes and my dad calls them the bloods and the crips cuz the be killin ever catfish they put in there. we had bought another one. the man at meijers and ran water all over the fish so we named him goner.
the next day he died... RIP lol.

OH DID I TELL YALL SHE GOT THE LAST NAME JONES?

Cool right. 3.12.08.
remember that my niggas. im kinda be happy lately. like reall happy that i havent been in a minute.
im thinking of new things. im doing new things and now i just gotta get my school together and thats it. life is lookin up...

i think.

[out]

Everytime your name was brought up
I would act all nonchalant infront of an audience
Like if you was just another shorty I put the naughty on
But uh, truth be told you do me for a loop, this Hov
I'm too old to be frontin when I'm feeling Denzel
And you acting like you ain't appealing but you are
Stunting like you ain't my only girl but you are (I was just frontin)
I'm ready to stop when you are

im ready to bet it all, unless you don't care at all
But you know I want ya
(you should stop frontin babe)


[quit frontin]

Boom Boom Tap

i sit here...


...wishing you were the one i was touchin
the one i was holding
the one that could make my life complete...

constant attempts to make it work
is the thing that really hurts...

i promise on this last breath i take
that youll be my last heartbreak

Older Post [Click Em]

Waitin..

I said Oh (oh)
Oh (No, No) I,
I think I'm falling for you. (I think I'm falling for you)

so yea. im chilling today. i miss Krystal. she sick and i wish i could be her nurse for the evening.
i helped her find a job so i feel good that i did something. ya know. lol im kinda jealous, i put her up on a job site and i still ain't got one, and i applied for at least 5 jobs. it don't matter my time will come. congrats tho sweetheart. anyway yesterday was plain and simple day did the usual. fucked with my boys, talk/txt krys, wrote a quick 16 bars and thats it. i found out that the funeral is tomorrow and i don't wanna go, but i know i do need to pay my respects you know. she went to sleep without me last night. it felt weird , i was alone. but its iight im just glad she doing better. don't need another sick person. i got alot of thoughts running back in forth in my brain and i really dont have much to blogg about.

Excuse me if you find this so dumb,
Looks like somebody else got my wife.
So tell me where the f*ck you came from (where you came from),
I never seen nothing like you in my life!

sky black, sun turning flaming red.
things gettin killed of, lives left for dead.
food dryin up, no fuel for the trucks.
ice meltin fast, no one gives a fuck.
flowers not blooming, the past help to make this.
a pocket full of cash, but no money could even save this.
people running wild, takin anythin if they can get it.
no food to survive, going fat to anorexic.
nothing left to live for, make a big man fill little.
skin start to crack bones gettin brittle.
i dont no whats happen, nothings its gonna get me by.
all the dope in the world, but i be never gettin high.
sat for a minute.... then i said a prayer.
hoping that something, will come and take me away from here.
continued to sit.. steady being patient.
didnt move a inch, waiting to see what my fate is.
...........waitng.....
then outta know where i saw you, the smile u gave made it real clear.
you was coming to save from the world that im stuck in.
full of pain , fear , and disbelief
all the cryin, heart ache and full of grief.
grabbed my hand told me to come get in
then i stop and said, " where the fuck have you been?"

[ive be waitng...]

poem.

i be diggin the shit outta you. real talk.
you there when i need you. you there even when i dont need anyone.
when i piece of the pie was missin, you baked me another one.
in english i always been two, in spanish im your numbro uno.
past event dont exist, nothing is a regret.
each step taking, never been second guessed.

i come to realized the past was a faze.
left me all puzzled stuck up in a maze.
i must confess i never been this amazed.
i can be me, there nothing i have to change.
fuck some glasses i clearly see.
that your interestin in me, because of me..

i never felt this way, im not ashamed.
ppl can hate it or love, itll remain.
they rather hate it than love it, see they are lames.
you like the xbox but you not up for the game.

i like that...
and if i miss your calls i hit you right back.
ppl be calling my phone but get no calls back.
they dont compare to you, and that no take backs.

i mean what i say, say what i mean.
lay my head on my pillow, see you in my dreams.
me and you close as can be, see we a team.

dont wanna jump to conclusions, but i hope this is destined.
all the feelings are here, im here confessing.
ive been through it before, ive learned my lesson.
nigga threw your love in the air, i promise to catch it.

and you can BET that.

[ OUTfuckinTRObro]

I Know.

[i love looking at her. sexy ass.
seen those buns of steels, awesome right!.
what a great person you are.
oh and im hers she said]


so when i woke up this morning i realized it was eight in the damn morning. late as hell for class n shit so i didnt go til second hour. kinda good my first hour teacher voice annoying as hell. shit 3rd hour we didt have a teacher so me and krys was on the phone. nothing really important happened til 4th hour when i found out my aunt died this afternoon. i didnt think it would hit me as hard as it did. cuz i havent seen her a good minute. i dont think ive seen her since this summer. and i wont never see her now. but i remember how she used to take us to school because she ran a transportation service. i remember spendin the night over her house and being over there alot. i remember eatting all there food. and destroying they sunflower seeds. just thinking about all that mad me leave my class like i need to take a lil walk. i never had to deal with someone that was close to me dying like that. every other time die something like that happened it was when i was to young to actually understand the significance of people and of life. all i knew it that i hated funerals. i couldnt attend them i was wasnt having that. so not im like i need to pace myself i need to live my life to the fullest ill never know what will happen 5 , 10 , 20 minutes from now, or ever years from now.


i fell asleep with my pillow buddy last night have a deep conversation. basically on past relationships what happened. what we learned. sex. etc. then basically realizing these ppl didnt really deserve the shit that was being giving to them. me im kinda on some fuck that bitch type shit. man i hate putting my all into someone or something just to get that shit frisbee back at yo ass in return. i remember steady being accused of shit wasnt doing. constantly arguing. constant break up to make up type shit. wanting to let go but couldnt type shit. man... if that isnt the most stressful irritating thing ever. it got to the point my dad had to do irritating shit to get me off the damn phone with this chick. and now i glad in the end that he did. [thanks pops] i also talked about this one bitch who was claiming she liked me so much and came to find out she was sucking my bestfriend up. that was a good laugh. women are pitiful, well.. maybe i should say certain ones. this bitch excuse was :

"i was in a long term realationship and i guess i got caught up in being able to do whatever i wanna do again...just being free"


df? what that gotta do with you sucking the nigga up tho. shame.


[ Baby you like twan, Baby you love twan, Baby you love...]


[Rip Bernadean ]

Something Else.

i haven't had really much to blog about lately. so i postpone my blog for a minute, but hey im back be happy and stfu. last weeks was pretty cool just a regular week like every week. Thursday i didn't go to class i didnt feel to good but its a new week so lets see what happens. shit this week all i did was work and me and my pops got into it a lil. no lie, my dad kinda intimidates me, but i still gon hold own. taco bell,... what else can i say its just a bullshit ass job. Saturday they had me on drive-thru " BY MY SELF" man, im like are you serious? lol i cant take orders and give out orders at the same time. that shit is hard, i cant focus like that lol. that just isn't one of my talents sorry. plus i get side tracked so a lot of times at work people be talking to me and i be in my own word. everyone up there pretty much thinks im slow, which when it comes to taco bell i am. but today imma be online looking for another job closer to home because my job is like 20 minutes away, all the way on the east side no where near anyplace i know.

so yea, im tryna get focused real talk. like i been hearing this saying a lot. " when you catch a fish you feed someone for a day, but when you teach them how to fish, you feed a person for life". its something like that. but the POINT is, i dont want to rely on anyone, people have already been doing they own thing but i know ive been a lil spoiled and when its finally time to grow up its been a lil harder on me because of that so i kinda wish i haven't been. shit i got a job and im doing better than my older brother AND older sister. they not tryna do anything not tryna find a job and not tryna get in school. all they do really is sit around party, smoke, and hang. i wanna be able to do ALL THAT, knowing im doing it on my own terms with no one being ABLE to tell me what i can do. these niggas grown and still gettin told when to do, this and that and they both about to be 20. no disrespect i love them to death, i want better for them and myself. speaking of my bro, early last week we had company and shit. basically him , his girl her friend, and my niggas came to just chill and what not. moms gets off at 11 gets here about 11:30. my bro been driving her truck without her knowing ( i have a couple times but i got my license so she don't care), and it really didnt have any gass. they been bullshitting to about 10:30 and her Friend live far as hell from here and was expecting one of us to take her home. im like im not doing that dummy shit, so this nigga do it and was joyriding , moms pull up exactly the same time this nigga is coming down the street and he see her. LONG STORY SHORT, she haven't been talking to his dumb ass. just last night him and my cousin tried to break in radio shack. "Mission Failure". lol i rode past it today they boarded up the window they broke.

shit never changes i see though. im still being dick-rode. my counterpart is getting clit-rode. im just hoping my dick get soft soon... shit speaking of that someones been horny alot. hmmmm...
anyways ,

[commercial break]

" every met someone who is everything you ever wanted? and is not ugly or missing some limbs? well you need to try eharmony.com your match MADE IN HEAVEN is waiting for you there"

[ahem]

shes something else man. as the days go by i learn something new and something i really enjoy about her. like real talk. i never spoke or acknowledged any female as much as i do her. real talk she amazing. i know its cheesy soft blah blah. but its real man. like im really anticipating the future to come. no lie. i really cant see anything breaking this lil thing thats going on. ya dig.
[knocks on wood].

jay: was good
China: i love you sweetheart.
anybody else i haven't spoken too in a minute and think ive been abandoning them is true.
i love yall ugly fags. and everyone else who reads my shit.

[jumps in my Megazord and walks off]