15.12.08

You Can Do It Too.

okay i almost got fired from work. this dude tried to short change me. well he gave me a 50 and i gave him change. then, he asked for the fifty back and didnt give me my change back. and plus gave me fake bills. so my drawer would of came up 120 dollars short. so i go to stop the guy, and he swung on me. so being me i swung back. my dude marvin who work with me came around and grabbed me and the manager came out screaming " df is going on!!". so i explain what happened. dude lied and she let him go and tried to write me up for that shit. then when it came time to count my drawer, it was 50 bucks short. and she tried to make me give her 50 dollars. i was like fuck yall and walked out.

well since i said almost in the beginning its obvious i still have my job. but its the fact that she let that nigga go is what upsets me. then she told me he came back the next day and tried to do it again. he ordered a hard taco then saw her, and walked out. she told me the bank even accepted the fake bills. yeah crazy weekend.

i hope when 09 comes everything will be in play with me so my life can take that turn its suppose to. im pose to move if everything with my money goes right and its been up and down lately. but i think even if it is imma still go. its not any opportunities and im tired of sitting around procrastinating too. i got what i need to do it imma just take it and do what i gotta do with what i have.

i wish i could go back to the fun blogs i used to write. i feel like im struggling more than i have to lately. but its gon be okay. i need to call these insurance people to i can go head and get my jeep this week. anyway imma get too it. peace.

dont be afraid to look up in the sky....

10.12.08

same post another video

i made this one today 12/12/08




i made this the same nite i made the last one.. i forgot to post it cause i been recording. i got 2 lil songs imma let yall hear. check em out.
Stuntin Freestyle Ft. Epic
http://www.imeem.com/people/S0DyHN/music/DSZdFK4P/quik_kash_feat_epic_stuntin_freestyle/

Detroit Snippet
http://www.imeem.com/people/S0DyHN/music/hr0HZ8td/quik_kash_detroit_produced_by_darkseid/

Okay Heres The Video


9.12.08

4.12.08

random shit vlog.

no words needed i guess. dont laugh...asshole. i started rapping near the end ugh. just check it out.

3.12.08

No Title.

so yesterday was pretty cold. very cold. i had to go to that interview. they want me to come back for a second one so i think I'm pretty much in. we finally got cable yesterday. we got every channel its about time i can get back in terms with society. lol i was mad when i found out that trl didn't come on anymore or rap city! that's crazy whats am i gonna watch that's very entertaining. 106 and park is the black trl and it look cheap ion like it. so afterwards i got a call for university of phoenix. they gon call me to set up a meeting next Tuesday. so that's going to be interesting. later on i when to my job and got my check. they like me up their. they finally gave me some more hours at taco bell. I'm like applaud, i saw the schedule and was like damn y'all really want me to have a great Christmas. but i gotta save all my money. my Christmas isn't going to be how i want it to be... looks like imma have a good "after Christmas day" the following week.

you people are so gullible. naive. and I'm not going to say i didn't expect it. I've noticed that my layout for this blog spot got alot of questions. " who's that?, i want too know, tell me, you must be in love". whoa settle down with all the questions. people assume if you don't answer their questions that they are right about whatever they were thinking. well imma let the mind wonder. i think the mind is a beautiful thing, if you open it up to every possibility this world would be so much diverse. i think everyone could be their own individual without having to think about what society has to say about how they look and what they do.

well today i got to do a side job for this lady. I'm getting paid to do Internet work. they i already know how to do. i think that's great. something that i know how to do and is good at i can make money off of. i think i need to look more into that.

yesterday morning was very weird. that's all imma say.

i hope my best friend can get the strength to get up and let her ex go. she calls me crying almost everyday and she's never been like that. she let that dude break her down and its so sad to see that. she gave up everything for him. and i think that def was the wrong move. cause her fam wont even talk to her now. that's what happens when you fall for someone fast. its crazy and i wish i could do something to help. but the only one who can help her is herself.

i got this song that ain't no body got! had ill put it up when i change the layout.
peace.

1.12.08

Good Evening.

well i been on chill this evening. very chill. oh guys, well hows the new layout? you dig it?. yeah that's my 808's and blog spot layout. i think i everyone will dig it. quit being nosy don't worry bout who's that in the picture. non ya business. anyway I've been not blogging like u used too. you can tell the months that ived be the busiest. the less blogs there were the more shit i was doing. but imma try to make even time for both to keep ppl updated. imma start vlogging too. see if it works out for me. my nigga jeezy said, the more your seen and heard, the better off you'll be. and i think that's true. ppl gone get used to you if they keep seeing you. and you'll start to get a following. hopefully that can be me. right now I'm bagging that eightoheight's and heartbreak for like, all day today. i wont let nothing else play, and its only cause imma big kanye fan, and its nothing like me being down like some would think, i just been through some of the shit that's being spoke of in this album. so its like therapy for old problems that still bother me today. you know. plus i like the beats. them 808s are knocking. man people are dumb. they think they know shit but really don't. I'm on imeem reading comments for this album and i saw the stupidest comments of all time. nigga said 808 stands for the area code in Hawaii. I'm like seriously? 808 is def not a drum huh?

anyway im done, just wanted to write a new blog. hello my fellow bloggers. comment we have to get re-acquainted.

Good Morning

Hello Blogspot World. Ive Been woke for a bit and my morning has kick'd off excellent. i have a interview tomorrow afternoon for verizon wireless. so well see how that goes. i feel so brand new for some reason, like inside i used to feel a lil bitter. i cant explain why actually but i know that i feel different now. and i feel like forgiving alot of people. how about women who have lied to me, i forgive you. and people who did shit to me. i forgive you. people who really arent shit and been in my life to lead me down the wrong path. i forgive yall asses too.

Like Im Happy. and it feels good to be that way ive been happy. but damn i have been to this point. like i remember i used to see women that i used to talk to a while ago. for "example", and when i for sure thought we should of been together and they ended up with some other person i really deep down been a lil bitter. and this has been numerous occasions. and i got up today and i got on yahoo for example and seen some shit. and i was like word, im very happy for Her. me and this chick were the best of friends for a LONG time. and some where in the back of my mind i was like ugh thats suppose to be mine one day. thats how i felt about alot of people i felt that i deserve. and ive learn that. i probably still deserve them. but that doesnt me they were meant for me to have. and im happy that that person has some one to make her whole.

and i think that everyone deserves a feeling like that. i think people deserve to be happy, be healthy ( if they choose ) and to be wealthy. [if you try]. anyway im glad i have this here blog. expressing myself really helps me. its like therapy. and i love it. man, life is good. oh i forgot to say im bout to move out of MI in a month. niggas didnt believe i was gon do it but its happening. yeaaah!. im not saying where im going youll see me when & where u see me. ha!

i got some one that i miss and makes me feel good inside.
thats a good feeling, lets see how this goes. one.

23.11.08

Hmm

internet is a beautiful place. bet you wish you could live their eh. ugh random talking. but im not gonna stay in my blogs long. i think imma try to get lajai to blog a lil. she been going through to much. i cant wait til xmas time though. alot is going on. 09 is coming, im not gonna be in michigan. thats gonna be exciting woot. ugh im mad i go too much time on my hands. time to find something to do. ugh women.... imma leave it at that. this is what i be talking bout ppl! lol keeping it 100 is a must. anyway i might go shopping again, but i gotta save for my vehicle. insurance and all the things that needs to be updated.

so my EX-MAS list .
ugh just looks cool egh?

i still want a xbox.
i think imma just stop there cause its sad that i still dont have one. ugh UPS can suck my dick. im really tryna get back in their :(. hope at&t calls me.. anything is better than nothing..

so on that note... imma just leave this blog for another time when i wanna. with working, making moves, fake people, and other shit.. ion got time to entertain the tall tales.

8.11.08

Abyss...

my face is the tightest as its even been in a while. my earbrows are almost touching eachother and my lips arent moving. feels like their stuck together. my eyes are fluttering. i havent felt this way since Anthony died. i havent felt this way since...never. i didnt drop a tear cause im sad. nor did i drop one because someone died.i dropped one for me. i dropped one because im misunderstood, miscalculated, misinterpreted.im judged before knowledge of who i am. im indirectly bashed in ways i never knew existed.you dont know what ive been through, so theirfore you will never know why this effects me the way it does. im being judged base on nothingness. what do you know about me. you know my name is Antione. thats about it.

i was thinking i was being dodged. i felt in my gut something wasnt right. not even that i felt that something is changing. i couldnt put my finger on it, but i knew it. for a minute i could tell. i just didnt know exactly what it was. Lajai told me dont think so hard, cause it might not even be how im taking it. but it was. not exactly but i was right.

so what im in a rock in a hard place or am i in a nonexistence place. i dont even no what else to say cause i felt something of the sort coming along. i just didnt know how it would come. and i never had a feeling like this. to make my face turn upside down and dropp one tear out my left eye. like im lost for words cause i feel like " what kinda bull shit is this". so am i pose to be forgotten or am i pose to accept the bullshit? like what am i to say to this? what kinda conclusion do i make of this situation?

whatever...and is that just it. or is it more to it....
will i find out.. whatever ... fuck typing.

youve made other decisions on you own, whats different in this one?

November Season

so i just got home from work. man what a long day. it was actually boring really. i woke up like 30 minutes before i actually have to leave to head for work. so i didn't really get to eat anything but a sandwich. ugh why oh why...must i slap a bitch. this lil ass "child" at my job almost lost her face talking to me. i decided i would work extra hard to day just cause i was bored. so i helped on drive thru and she had nerve to act as if i had to help her. so being the person i am, i threw the headset at her and walked away saying " bitch you can suck my dick duck, you got me fucked up". rude i know. do i care? nah.

moving along. people urk my nerves.for like the past two weeks i been annoyed. I've been randomly just hanging up on people and turning my people off cause i don't feel like being bothered. i been working alot more hours now and I'm bout to start working daily now. so I'm getting rid of all the waste of timers and making room for the time savor'ers. if that makes since.

ugh maybe i am becoming bipolar or something. cuz ill be good,till i start thinking about things. but i don't really get mad or swing moods, i just like get more serious about things. so it may seem I'm being funny acting, but I'm really not...I'm just focused MAN!

i really wanna go back to Michigan State like i did couple weeks ago. college parties are always fun.til you get drunk and past out in a dorm room. shhh dont tell know one. Nae asked me to drive back, i surely wasn't risking that. thought i might die. fun times fun times..

I'm in love with something...
i listen to it everyday and it makes my day. like it really does. the variety it gives me for each mood I'm in and how it keeps me in a great mood with in feeling down. damn i love you music.

lol lame eh i know. fuck you. aye fuck you too. you make me vomit and shit at the same time reader. ugh you whom read and don't comment fuck you too. hope your testicles/ovaries explode.

anyways back to my evening...

6.11.08

Be Excited.

New Layout And Post. So Obviously I Got My Hat On My Head. I had TO Go crack some heads last night and threaten a couple lives but no one was harmed. thank god to them. anyway, i took that test yesterday that shit was pretty easy til i got to the science which i have no memory of , cause i know that was one class i never paid attention in. i hated science. to many chemicals and all this other shit. other than that im think i did pretty well. so well see what happens next week. i need a cut, as you can see in the photo's above and imma make it my fucking busy to go today. i been over my dads this week since i have nothing esle to do. i was prepared for the speech i was going to get, but wow. i got the speech of all speeches two nights ago. what a nite. well my nigga barack won. i wrote my " I Voted " sticker proudly on my forehead. i met alot of interesting people on election day. this dude called some chick a nigger and threated her life. im like WOW. people still let ignorance overpower change. times have changed, let it go. lets move on to more important things other than you holding a fucking grudge cause a african american is in office. geez... moving on.
i hate when i feel as something is going on, but i just cant put my finger on it. im not talking about anything in particular or am i? it just seems like im not being included in something that i should be included in. and its making me think but i dont wanna think to hard and be wrong. so im kinda "iffy" about it right now. but imma keep it to my self.

Bitch whats happenen
known to get it crackin
heard bout cha already baby
you can stop the actin
i say im drunker den a mu-fucker
higher then a kite
lost my mind and my cell phone in the same night

this fucking song be coming on all day on my computer. this used to be my shit. yo i know what i want for christmas. who wants to give me gifts? anyone? if you do comment me asap cause i have a item for each specific person. lol but seriously imma treat my self big this year for xmas.
im kinda irritated, like just now i am. ionno why. i was pose to post some songs..but i never did em. :( i hate my procrastinating ass sometimes. anyway im rabbling im gone. hmph.

2.11.08

They Dont Remember That.

yo, new day. its already Sunday and its funny how my weeks go by so fucking fast. it seem like when I'm doing something weeks go by so far, but months go by so slow. so like I'm really gonna go vote. bout time i been able to participate in something with this damn world. cuz i would of been the final vote to get John Kerry or Al gore in the fucking office. ITS A RECESSION BITCH!. so ion no how but if blog spot lets me imma make a list of shit that i want to accomplish and as i do each one i going to cross it out. its alot i need to accomplish this year going to the new 09 year.

anyway, work was annoying yesterday. df how am i pose to do everything by my self and they got plenty of people their to assist me. and want to complain about how slow I'm going. bitch kiss my ass. today i said i was gon record some music so well see how they goes. if i come back and make another blog today then i most likely did some. i need to write about how i see haters every direction i go or something of the sort. cause got damn its frustrating to hear people down your neck whom don't for one second know a thing about you. oh and let me find out someone making a reference towards me and I'm in that ass. [ hint hint].

okay time to start doing shit no long blog today. peace

26.10.08

Thinking Back

ugh i hate jay adams. i been going through his blog. and this nigga reminds me of ..me. like a lot of the things your blog about, are alot of the things that i think about or things that run through my mind from time to time. for a arrogant person, you've been quite whiny this year my nigga. we gon have to get you another puppie or something.

thinking back on my past hmm. ive had a pretty interesting selection of women cometh and go.i also had pretty different experiences with "first times".my first kiss was at like six though, with this chick name valerie. the kids on the block made us kiss.back then i used to be allergic to pollen. so one day i happen to come out when a bunch of fucking pollen was falling, and it made my eyes water and red. everyone though i was crying over her. but i wasnt i eyes just felt like chopped onion were sitting on my face. so she ran home. ive seen her in recent years. makes me say each time "damn, you looked way better when we were kids". hmph,... oh well

every year of grade school til 7-9 grade ive had a girl friend. first girlfriend, in kindergarten i still remember her. i got her as soon as i got to the school. i forgot how we broke up. but i remember some how i ended up kissing her on the cheek. and she thought i was tryna talk to her again. and her cousin was in first grade with me. how ironic. me and my best friend at the time and his cousin was all over her. i remember my first crush. it was on thie game name Raven Durham. she was so beautiful too me. i dont no why but she was. even tho she dissed me for my nemesis/future bestfriend at the time george jackson. i remember i came to school with five dollars. and i showed it too her. this fast ass chicken head skeezer gon start crying and tell the teacher " Antione Stole Five Dollars Out My Purse ". i fought for my five bucks. i wouldnt give it up. its ever my five bucks....or my five BUCKS. anyway..

i aslo remember my first fight. it was actually with my bestfriend..at that time. i thought he throw a crayon at me. so i turned around, and he was the first person i saw. so i pushed him. he pushed me back we got to tussling and i threw him to a desk. i thought i was he-man. haha! i thought that would make raven like me more. but everyone in the class was like... "damn why you do that". i didnt get it. george was the cool kid. and i wanted to be like him then. i even beat em up and raven didnt even notice...ugh

first time grabbing girls on the ass. was in fourth grade. me and george liked the same girl name D'layne. ionno why we just did. it was this other girl i used to like name tiffany. anyway, me and george dated d'layne at the same time cause she liked us both. speaking of all this. i just noticed something. i used to take on the phone for the first time around 3rd or fourth grade... thats crazy. i wasnt letting my little sister used the phone til now, and shes in the 6th. i got suspended for sexual harassment for touching her on the ass on a field trip. she had a nice lil booty then. now it switched around cuz now days she got big tits. i saw her at a party like 2 yrs ago. she still looked the same.

i had a think for light skin. in fifth grade i was dating the sexy chick then. Kitten High. kitten...mmmmmm anyway. she was sexy and thick..and that was my first time having a chick with some big ass tits. like her shit was huge. and she loved me. we dated the whole school year. she was a freak too. i remember one day she put her foot up my pants try feel my dick. lol she used to always say i had a big dick. i think she the one who geek'd my head up. every chance she got she was touching on me or my dick. me i was trying look up her dresses and skirts and pulling her tits out.( oh i didnt do that til middle school).

Janee Legardy. short and sexy. i used to like her so much. i was in 6th grade and i had 3 girlfriends. i was also dating candice and this other tall thick chick, which i cant remember her name. they all was sexy. that was my first time tryna be a "player". the it all crumbled. candice broke up with me cuz i decided i was gon curse her out. laquisha or whatever that chick name was i broke up with her cuz she was too tall. and janae i broke up with her, just cuz i knew i could have her back. the following year i did.

9 grade. when i bust my first nut. i wont say her name. cuz she doesnt know she was my first. or maybe she do...we was ugly. i rode my bike so damn far for that pussy man. smh ionno why i did that. it took me like a hour and a half to get there. i climbed in her window and then it all started.
i acted like i was gon eat her out but, i didnt know wtf i was doing. u remember i snapped on her cause i thought i got her pregnant. i had the biggest headache and i was throwing up. i broke up with her a couple days afterwards.

getting head wasn't how i thought it would. this chick was drunk n high..olivia...smh. hope u not still bitter toward me. i been watch in too many pornos, so i thought id try having a intercourse with her face. ion think she enjoyed it as much as i did. she wanted me to return the favor. i said nah.

its crazy how things turn out. i thought i wouldn't have sex or anything when i was growing up. i thought i was too shy for chicks to like me. but actually i was always out going and chicks always liked me. so i remembered as i got older chicks tried to dis me. but i never let it faze me cause, i knew the truth. bitch im amazing!

21.10.08

fuck that

i havent touch thisshit in so long man. and i really dont care than i havent. i been low key then a mug lately. i really dont fuck wiht no body and today proves why. like nigga aint real as usual so lets keep it moving. i been working my ass off for months now. and got some thing to show for it. im bout to flippin homes very soon. soon is a drag and boring.. like dude shit really is irritating. like damn. anyway.

ntoo much shit been happening. i got robbed today shit was crazy.like i need to stop carrying all my money on me or i could of had all my shit took. nigga was a bum. like gunpoint barrel in the face type shit. like im kinda shook from that.

and im like done with all the rest of the bullshit. like im tired of starting shit and tryin fix shit with ppl who dont want shit fixed. like talk the shit to make a nigga wonder then be like on some other shit. like fuck it i cant fuck with it no more. its added headache.

make up yo mind. like its not hard to choose. you want one or the other. simple. like im sick of guessing games.

im changing alot of shit and im bout to havve my own shit when i move i already got a spot. lik shit happening hella fast.
but anyway im gone again im too irritated. fuck

3.10.08

Real Rap

New Song. Check It Out.

27.9.08

Randomness

so, how are you? I'm good actually. well I'm not. I've been sick since like Thursday. like real bad. couldn't stand it. had to work this weekend, but didn't go on Friday i was too sick. even though i made my self sound extra sick on the phone to my manager. i called a hour before i was pose to go :

" [holds nose] " hey Liz, i cant come in today, I'm like super duper sick".
" WHY U DIDN'T CALL YESTERDAY!".
"CUZ ...um... i thought i was gon be better by today?"
"BYE!". -click


so i been hanging out with school friends all week, like lol man these fucker make me sick. tryna make me talk to random broad whom I'm not attracted too just for laughs. idiots. after being pulled over by the cops n shit. i been really not liking fucking anyone. lol i been so on point about whom i been around. oh so yo!....remember like 2 blogs ago? when i was talking about that chick with the neck piercing whom i thought was the sexxiest thing ever? whelp she decided she wanted to be my friend Thursday. man i felt mad weird she had me blushing cuz i think shes pretty. and she all in my grill. so we exchanged numbers and and i kept my day going. funny think i step in the crib she decides to txt me. shes like what u doing tonite I'm like nothing, I'm kinda sick. " you wanna chill with me and some friends?" sure i say. i go out side her car look like something straight out of the fast in the furious I'm like....OKAY..so anyway we decided to go bowling which I'm good at by the way. and we went to 7-11 afterwards. she TRIED to buy me a Slurpee. i never let a chick by me anything...i guess its a male ego thing.. but im like fuck that ill pay. so i guess her friends had to leave so she drops them off. she decided she wanted to go to meijers. I'm like okay kool. its like eleven o clock and we in meijers looking for Halloween accessories for her costume. she gonna be a slutty fairy basically . i guess Halloweens an excuse for all that. long story short we parks in front the crib and we kick it. she tells me how shes suppose to be engaged n shit..but dudes in the navy and gon be gone for 4 years. so shes tryna decide what to do. we talked for like a fucking hour which was mad cool cuz i haven't done nothing like that in....never? so i go in the crib.

next day she decided we should go to a movie with her and her sister an her best friend or what not. so we go see traitor. i haven't been to the movies in forever. it was actually a good movie. my asthma was acting up real bad and i didn't have my inhaler on me but i sucked it up cuz the movie was real interesting. blah we go to the coney island and get something to eat. i got chill cheese fries woot. we eat and she leave...she almost crashed into another car, then decides to tell me she wears glasses... so, I'm not getting in that car unless contacts are in or glasses. but i should have my car next month so no worries.

i lost my phone today, i was running to get on the bus and it dropped out my pocket. my mom found it and brought it to my job. that was cool of her. i was happy. cuz i was gon just be like fucking and quit procrastinating and go head and get either tmobile or at&t. anyway I'm mad bored and tired so imma go back and lay down, and watch basic TV since we still don't have cable...ugh... I'm missing all the good shows :(

23.9.08

Fuck The Police Foreal.

Man, What A Day...What A Day. I was kinda of upset that the kids didnt come to class today, so i was pretty much bored in class today. im like techically the only guy in the class. its a gay dude and a white dude but they dont count. the chicks dig that i love kids cuz the mommas be in there, while i be taking care of they're kids. they was like " i bet you want a kid" or " i wish my baby daddy was like you. he wont even hold her" or " why couldnt you of been the father" lol. im like "uh, im glad im not, i cant take care of a kid. as much as i love them i nowhere near responible enough to take care of one. i know that. im to busy tryna do me and live my life, to be tryna take care of another life. its a fun class though nonetheless.

after class i waiting for Vic dumb ass to come scoop me up. we chilled for a minute kicking it with old people in the neighborhood and shit. one of my friends is going away for six months. that's fucked up [ Free Cash BTW]. so we get back on are journey. i decided to go get my check today so i rode with them to get it. the freeway was over backed up today. that shit was crazy. we had to come up and take side streets to get there faster. so we riding and on our right are the NARCS. they slowing up, so we thinking they tryna get over so we slow up. the didn't so we kept moving. they get behind us and we just rolling. [MR. OFFICER] -WEOWEOWEOWE- they got they lights on and shit we like wtf? we aint speeding. we aint got nothing on us. we got seatbelts on. so im like WDF? so i see one run up to vic door and im in the back. i turn to my right another cop yelling " put ya hands on the fucking headrest! ". he yelling asking vic a hundred times " how old are you". he told the man amillion times how old he was then finally was like fuck it, started to get his ID. dude like "man, if you dont get the fuck out the car". so he pat him down. my dude Paris in the front seat. they pull him out and pat him down. they put them both on the hood. so im like fuck... they come back im like " man whats the problem". he telling me " stfu nigga dont speak" they do the same shit to me now im on the hood sitting there. they asking me question im just not saying shit. he like " ion like niggas, so speak the fuck up". some more fucking pigs come and start harrassin us. 20 minutes later, they didnt find shit. and told us get the fuck outta they face. man we didnt speak for like 30 minutes we was so fuckin pissed. finally i get to my job to get my check. we go get wendy's and got from the fucking eastside quick. we got to JOY.RD and dropped Paris off. niggas in his hood wanted to play us in B-Ball so we played 2 games and left. finally got home.

what a day...
[fuck the police]

17.9.08

Seventy

yo..my sister just fell out her bed lol. its almost One AM. i heard a DUN DUN!. lol im sitting here trying to think of something to start my blog off with and i just snickered when i heard that. shes very weird man. like she will walk around the house and turn every single fucking light on and act like she never did it. ugh and a bad liar at that. but i cant blame her. i was a bad liar then. and still am. thats why i dont do that shit. id be sitting here stuck for days.

but thats not what i wanted to blog about. really i just wanted to update since i finally got a lil audience to actually pay my blog attention. like fucking jay got like 200 post n shit. and got like 20 fucking readers. fuck him. im mad jealous. bathing ape monkey looking ass nigga. but im am greatful for those i do have! so thanks for reading. even though i dawg you out from time to time.

So monday i started my classes. i minor'd in child care til i can do music. man yo i gotta watch lil kid and they are so fucking adorable. like man, i didnt know watching kids could be so fun. yet tiring. oh like i saw this chick. omg....so fucking sexy. like the epitome of my type. i dropped dead looking at her yesterday when i walked in like woooooooooooooow... if only if only. but like she got this piercing on the back of her neck. wow its kinda weird. that realllly throught me off. but she still sexy. i think she caught me staring at her thought. like i was daydreaming with my hornball ass. but eh, i kept it pushing. man my classes are easier, but more boring than i thought they would be. like damn i did all my work and was mad fucking bored. like seriously, i fell asleep drooling on some paper. i woke up and only like 15 minutes had past...crazy shit.

i guess i didnt realize how ahem! "handsome". like mad chicks at school be just hopping on my tip like im fresh meat. blah, maybe cuz im the "new dude". or whatever. Ugh Nae's cousin died in a accident. she seem cool so ion say shit but real talk car accidents scare the shit outta me like. i love to drive, and fast. so i always wonder if im careful enough. ugh

ill finish later.. peace

2.9.08

hmm new post.

Moms don't like her, but she adores me
struggling artist, no job, she supports me
So alone, my only friend is boo
So when its me against the world, the world gotta be against her too
that line reminds me of you.

so i not gonna really boy i just wanted to say that
i didnt do shit today but go over my granddads
his bday was today and thats it.
im chilling now.
you better claim a nigga now.
hints you on what you said.

im out til next time.

30.8.08

Something I Wrote..

check me out baby what it is
I'm feeling like Ive had a mad crush on you like we kids
i thought u were complicated but I'm starting just to comprehend
that you like simplicity and ain't trying to get played again

well, if you looking for security
I'm only eighteen but baby check out my maturity
grown man swag and deception is a sin to me
I'm not looking at ya body cuz your brain is appealing me

you seem to be want i want but its kinda offending me
complexion makes me hot while your freckles giving chills to me
i want to no you better and go further is the deal with me
we just hit it off, but i wonder if your feeling me

when you talking..... I'm steady listening
sometimes i wonder whom else finds you interestin
if your swag was murder you'd be killin it
so i can only be real just hope that you feeling it

so if we ever go out and start to chillin it
i might wanna get closer so let me know if your diggin it
i no i be horny but I'm not just tryna drill in it
you act so innocent i no you just concealing it

so if we start to kickin it, ill make you start revealing it
and i get to fill in it, loving huggin n kissin it
i no u might start buggin im away and u be missin it
but you would always be my star and stay glistening

my mind started just driftin off
lets act like its half time n get it kickin off
when i look in ya big brown eyes i start staring off
right in to space, your being keeps me embraced

im ready for the chase your steps ill retrace
and when i finally get you i wouldn't need to replace


its iight i think..just some random ish..
chu think?

Irritated

So..




I'm SO FUCKING IRRITATED OUTTA MY MIND. EVERYONE IS FUCKING ANNOYING ME TO THE 3RD POWER. i don't even no why but everyone is being fucking difficult and this shit is fucking retard. I'm like is it my fault? lol ...then I'm like df.. I'm not even doing shit your just making shit hard period.

ugh man i was irritated all day really, the fucking bus didn't come...and the one that did come broke the fuck down and i was waiting for like 2 hours. i had to be at work at 4:15 and didn't get there til 4:30 which wasn't as bad as i would have been if i still waited on the bus. my sister came and picked me up. oh, she just brought her a car the other day. I'm happy for her n shit I'm like wow, your moving up in the word. like couple months ago you wasn't tryna do shit lol, now your climbing to the top, step by step. so that made me smile.

man.. work was alright, I'm really just chilled and was fucking with the customers. lol i remember when they didn't like my ass, i was the new boy at work. they was all like, yeah...you must be new. lol now they all know my name. they come in and speak to me... n shit and kick it with me. lol feels like i got new friends n shit. they be giving me money n shit, for who knows what reason. lol some lady came in and was like "Antwan!, Here". and gave me 50 bucks. white ppl are cool some times. i guess. couldn't date a white chick....ugh. pink Gina is not the kind i wanna be poking. period. ugh at period... ion no why they just made me frown.

your reading this? well hi, how are you? how was your day? good. who gives a fuck though?
not me....you so fucking naive...you no that right? yes you. oh get mad...yeah oh yeah think that imma asshole too. and imma laugh at you for being dumb. okay okay...you know i love you. df hell no. ugh. your a ho. ho..... ho ass.

anyway I'm done speaking to you.

I'm going out tomorrow nite after i get off work. i haven't in a minute. so imma have fun and enjoy. gonna see who's gonna grind on me tomorrow? if its you follow me and we can party. lol

okay I'm bored. I'm listening to shoot me down by Lil Wayne. the chorus be having me thinking how people take me for granted. how i put my sweat n tear into shit period and ppl don't appreciate it. how i keep it real and ppl cant. this been really irritating me for a couple of days now. I'm been angry inside. but i just covering it by working and online classes I'm taking. i just been staying occupied.


my best friend been missing me alot. she no I've be MIA a Lil. but we spoke about alot of the shit that's been going on. that's one person i love to def. even tho she's super dingy. ugh dingy women..it can be cute sometimes..

iight I'm done.

27.8.08

iight so.

fake ppl are amongst us all. for real you'll never know who the trust. like ion no I'm not even mad enough to address it. like i noticed. i cant get angry anymore. like for some reason. i can never get mad enough to just wanna go crazy anymore. like go on a rampage. ion no whats the deal. i guess i thought i was angrier inside than i thought. ion no i got alot of shit build up. but i guess exploding isn't me anymore. and stupid shit don't faze me no more. ion no what the deal is. but blah, yesterday i went to go get my check. I'm waiting in the sun for like a hour n a half to get there..man didn't get there til 7 didn't get home til eleven. then i crashed.

man i realized that alot of shit i cared for. i should just let it be. like its not even cool anymore. I've always been the nigga to give more than a fuck about people or things period. no matter what i forgave and forget or just let shit fly. cuz that just how i am. ion like holding grudges cuz at the end of the say, how is being mad or angry bettering me as a person. how is that making me money. how is that making me successful? no way at all.

man its only 5 and I'm super BORED. blah i stole that Cbox from yo shit. well I've seen it before but still. i want one and don't hate. i also made a Social Vibe the other day. like i think the whole concept of the site. i think its cool by just by being on there you earn points to raise money for a cause. and if any of you don't have one. DO NOT MAKE ONE without letting me add you. or i will not talk to you ever again period. thank you.

my mind is spinning with alot of shit i wanna express but ion even no how to say that shit...i just wish ppl would be more real. i swear...

25.8.08

okay.

my sister and i went shopping yesterday. aye being a dad gets u alot of play i see. plus my Lil sister is good so we was just chilling. eating Candie n Slurpee's then she had to pee so ugh i had to take her in the men's bathroom. felt weird. but i got her some dunks( thanks to someone, i think they look nice on kids feet now). so she was looking nice.

this is exactly why i shouldn't be online. while i was at getting off work Saturday evening. i stopped in the mall to get me a Cinnabun. okay..i got 3 Cinnabuns.... but that's beside the point. the point is some chick walked by, and was giving me the eye, [note, i just got off work, i probably smell like sour cream and bean burritos]. so she come back with a friend. and I'm tryna smash it. so i wipe my face and look up shes like,

"hey, isn't your name Twan?"

"yeah..."

"you don't no who i am?"

"EM...no?"

"what!, your Realfake on Crushspot, i came to your page the other day me and my friend, how don't you no me!?!? my name is ithinkimfam0useveryoneknowmeintheDEE313 @ cs dot com.[random name i made up]I'm always top rated"

"well nah you don't look familiar, but I'm bout to get on the bus ill holla at y'all"
-speed walks away-

this is what happens when the whole fucking city is on the same site. like no one is fucking SAFE! df I'm being stalked by net whores. i mean damn, that's why i need a fake address n shit. these hoes getting smart now! they'll track a nigga down. use you IP ADDRESS to find out where yo house at and come molest you ass. fuck all that :( ion like hood rats.

random shit:
* your still on my wallpaper, so when i open my phone cierra goes "hey ___"
* i need to by some boxers, i caught my brother rockin me shit...
*speaking of that, i caught a nigga who dont live in my house rockin my boxers,
my brother[who is 20] got niggas spending the nite n shit.
* i need socks, caught em rocking that too.
* if you tell someone, dude ill have to money tomorrow, is it smart to keep asking me will i have it today.[DF]
*im the man.
* yo that T.I. JOINT[ no. 2 on my play list ] EVERY TIME I PLAY IT I START GETTING HYPE. THAT'S MY SHIT.....
* i miss you
*i love you, will you say it back?

24.8.08

Your Name Clear...

My bodie's cold since your warmth left here
hard to hear anything else when yours voice not here
tired to repaint with something but it all just smeared
i watched it run the down the canvas,remind me of my tears
when they decline down my cheeks on the floor they appear
with all this fog built around me my sight disappears
all i want is for everything to be your name put right here clear

Things feel awkward to highest degree I'm wanna come down from that
my strength steady faze cause of the stability i lack
my bone begin to crumbling i cant keep it in tact
if i once was thrown off course ill follow til I'm right on track
anything else equals fiction my confessions are fact
that i want my three words to come back


[thats what i want..]

23.8.08

Say

Say you remember how good love can be baby
Say you'll never lose your faith in me baby yeah..



that's and robin been on repeat a lot along with fellow other songs to express me lately. I'm a guy im not prefect i fuck it as well as everyone does. I'm not Mr " i do everything right. I'm human, i do stupid things. i make stupid mistakes. i make dumb decisions. i no this. i see that. i wish i could be sometimes. and you no stupid shit wouldn't happen. wouldn't make me regret dumb shit i did. wouldn't make me be like "damn, how could i have done this differently". Those stupid regretful thoughts that play back like df was you thinking. that have you constantly in a state of mind where you confused, and frustrated to the point you wanna break shit. like man...are you serious. the point I'm tryna make is, "i broke the lamp that you made for me, and I'm repairing it as we speak so it can be good as new". this is a one of a kind lamp you brought in to my life and its only one in existence. I'm didn't mean to break it. if you get my drift. i never intentionally ever would do anything to break that bond. its self explanatory. i cant act like i don't care when i no i do. if i had to jump of a cliff to get to you knowing id break every bone in my body, i probably would...as long as you take me to the hospital afterwards. please...

in other news, Ive gotta pee very very bad.. like i been drinking mad mountain dew baja blast at work. that shit is like crack... my leg was fucking with me today but i ignored it as much as i could cause i had to walk on it. it was nothing i could do. it hurt bad as hell today, like i was damn near biting my lip. but I'm surviving. you know. smh mom my bailed this fool outta jail. dumb ass i wish she would think sometimes. I'm tired of having to fight with this grown ass man..shit is crazy.

imma update later, i gotta pee bad

note: Cierra asked about you last nite...
I'm mad that's the last thing she said to me before i hung up the phone.
shes getting mad smart. i swear.

tired

its early, and i got work soon....god waking up early is a pain....well for me cuz i hate waking up...im not a morning person...no where near.....



ionno i really dont have anything to write right now so imma just talk to other ppl in my blog...

Jay:
My nigga...i hope all is going well my nigga. keep me posted on whats the deal

Dina:
Hey Babe,Whats Up You And Mars stay in my comments, what you up too. i think your still up in the pool games :( fuck you!

Bre: wow df have you been, i would think everything would be all gravy with you. but i see your still having issues, but df who isnt having issues... i missed you tho its been like how many months? you still with dude? you need to txt meh. keep me posted.

I Know China Be Lurking, She Just Dont Comment.

Okay I would make this long but i gotta go and shit.....
fuck working..

so yeah

so work was good.
came home.
chilled.
kick'd it peeps.
kick it with ash
she wanna be apart of my life she say's
tell me anything right?
fin

22.8.08

Real Fake?

you start to understand when people are really fake and aren't really real. like things will never go back to how they were when you seen people acting like this. like I'm looking at shit, and you once talk mad ish about a person. now y'all "BFF"?. and when you steady express to a person the truth and they are so stubborn to realize when there being manipulated. when you cant even keep it real and answer simple ass question. YES or NO how simpler do it get. like its a big ass fucking headache when people are difficult. and childish at that. you can talk to other ppl about the problem instead of coming to the person who the problem is with. does that make any sense? listening to people who barely know whats going on there damn self. but you take there word for it? that's makes since? like you've never had a problem before and one thing can fuck up all that? means you never wasn't into it like you said you were. you never felt the way you said you did. you fake you not real. you foul your phony. you like fake Nike's and Jordan's being sold at the flea market fake. like seriously. i did my part to let you know whats true and whats false. and if you cant believe the person you claim to feel these ways for then why even lie to me in the beginning.
if i being up how you lied to me then I'm tryna flip the switch but its only true right? you did. and i didn't go all the way you acted. your selfish, your stubborn and inconsiderate. and that's not fair. to me i don't think. i never had a fair chance to stay my peace every time I'm lying. but hey imma just say either your going to come around and talk to me if you actually give a fuck or you not. imma stop trying to see where yo head at...

in other news I've had surgery on my leg, like i was numb but i watched the whole thing... like my legs been really fucked up i haven't really told anyone so your getting an exclusive peek in my life..I'm tired of being sick n shit its not helping me be happy. i gotta enough bs to think about already.

Don't you hate when ppl talk shit behind the scene and cant tell you straight up? like for real? your a coward. like dude be serious. a dude who will run to females about problems with another dude is soft...you don't live that far from me come see me bro. be a man. your 20? like come on like your real childish yourself.

anyway women as slow i just noticed how slow some of y'all really are... simple things tho lmao. how many fucking times are u gon ask me my name? Twan? df. slut. the damn nurse at the hospital asked me that...

anyway I'm being rushed off my blogg...grrr...peace

20.8.08

bad to good day.

well i had to get sugery....

19.8.08

aye+

yo i got a new job yo.
thats wassup. i start next week.
bout fuckin time..... so ill finally be on this bitch less n less...

smh thats all.

wow

my life is getting better as we no it. yo man. this shit is crazy whats been happening lately but i just got the best news. man......yo.....moneys gonna be rolling in. seee thats for ppl who thought a nigga wouldnt be shit..

17.8.08

aye, lemme ask you a question?

am i blowed or what?

16.8.08

yo

i read that blog.
and thats retard that you think that way. if i said something i mean it. i mean you had a right to be mad but in the end your stubborn and you wont listen to me period. like i was wrong for being mad at what i saw in your email. but i let it go...i mean its alot of things that can be let go. ive talked to you. i have to you start up. was the deal. and im being played now. you posting niggas now. and all that shit. like iight if you don't wanna kick it fine....whatever

i ain't gon lie n say i ain't hurt. .

i love you for real. you no that. so..ionno you'll have to think about it. i did my part..

13.8.08

um, did that just happen?

for real or am i dreaming. has everything i had planned out just shatter or is it just a hiatus? real talk I'm shocked, and surprised really. i don't even no what to start and I'm not going to make this took long of a entry imma keep it as short as possible hopefully. like that was the last thing i really expected as oh now. i have alot of shit running through my head its crazy. i held in my tears and tried to talk like nothing was wrong when you can read right through me. they fell on to my shirt constantly. but i wanted to be regular. it hurts? hell yes it does.

but you no what always happens to me? is when its around the mark of the day everything officially happened. the day after it crumbles. i no everything deeper than it really is and i no its more to it then just me. but fuck, i got emo's too. so imma just express it. like i said id never let this go. forever.

and that's what i still want. id be majority struck if you moved onward. i think that would be unfair. i don't think i really had my fair chance yet. i no i deserve more with this. i no its also my fault. maybe if my situation was better then it could of been a diff way to solve things. you know.

I'm still not done. i guess this might be more longer than i thought. my whole being will always be somewhere with you. and i hope things get better and your situation gets better too. you know?
the one thing I'm good about is that it didn't happen in a very negative way. that it wasn't on bad term type things. you know? but no matter what. if its not now. imma come for you. no matter what. cause you cant say i don't deserve you.

-Twan.

5.8.08

Midday Part One.

so yo.
like Ive been up and down this whole week. its crazy. ion no wtf is going on but it needs to be fixed asap. ahem!

whelp i worked this weekend it was cool for the most part tho. Friday i had to go in at 3 so i was like fuck it. it was a cool ass time. chilled wit my co workers. this chick that quit and cussed the manager out came back begging for a job. i thought that was funny as hell. I was cracking jokes on everyone as i usually do. my check was pretty cool. thought it would be a lil more but hey. I'm getting something you know? anyway. so the lady i been working with cut me a check too so that was smooth too. i think tomorrow imma go up to the bank and just open my account myself. i was gon wait but i cant wait no more smh. i been procrastinating.

Aye so have you ever won anything? whelp i have! for the first time! at my job they had this scratch off cards n shit and u win a 100 debit card. so every time i scratched i lost so I'm like blah whatever. so then Saturday i didn't it again n was like blah.I'm always losing and i just put it in my pocket blah!. so later im just bored& i pulled it out to throw it away and i WONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

i was like word. but YOU KNOW HOW HATERS IS. niggas like blah how you win? that's not fair. aw that's bullshit. fuck you. dont hate tho. so I'm like damn this is going better than i thought it would go.
Sunday was just regular. my leg healed up n everything so it was smooth didn't too much happen that day. BUT YESTERDAY YO.... everything went down hill. and i don't even no where to start.
i got my haircut tho. ion even like that! this nigga fucked up my mustache. i look young as fuck... never again will that happened. got me looking like the pringles man. smh. so i get home and my mom been calling n calling me to speak to him. so I'm like yo, ya moms calling you man call her back. he like "so? i don't care fuck her". and i mean that's my brother. but you taking it to far nigga being disrespectful. like dude. your 20. your jobless. you brainless cause obviously your not trying go to school. or get a job. he stuck in kid mode. i mean i eventually gonna fully grow outta that shit. but damn at 20? i not gon even been thinking of the same shit im thinking now...maybe only vagina. so i snapped on his ass. so to avoid fighting em i went to sleep for like a hour n a half.

woke up. i was getting fone calls but i wasn't answering. then i got a vmail saying one of my friends got killed. another one tho...like this hasn't hit me yet....but i know it will SO... I'm just acting like it didn't actually happen. and in my mind I'm like this is true. so I'm just tryna you no release whats on my mind, but the person i go to for that acting weird too... so I'm back where i was from the beginning. by my self.

shits crazy now. but hey....I'm not gon stop living. but all this stress got my nerves bad. I've noticing my fingers aren't steady they be shaking a lil. blah whatever...

1.8.08

Nite Time Part 3.

Photobucket

I missed my lil sister so much man. shes the only thing that keeps me sane. other that biglilboo. i haven't seen her in like a month and shes so damn big man. like seriously. i was at my dad's door waiting for them to get home and they pulled up. i snuck up to the side where she was sleep and opened the door. she did a double take like "....hi bro.......WHAT?!... BRO? where you come from!" I'm like i missed you. lol she likes me the most. its always like that. cuz I'm cool. i was tryna hold a convo with pops and shes like "bro.....bro.....broooooooo......sigh...BRO!.....ANNNNNTWANNNNNN"
I'm like "oh huh". man i love her. me and her pushed her mom in the closet and locked her in there lol.

For the longest Ive been wanting a XBOX360! and finally someone has a deal for 150$. so I'm pondering if i should buy it or not cuz the money i just got imma open a account and put my money in there OR i can wait til my next check and do it and get the xbox now. what chu think? i need to decide. i really want one :(. i play GTAIV only like 3 times. its awesome. i want one BAD. id get one before id get me more drawers.

blah. grr i need to quit saying blah....Krystal is rubbing off on me. i told her the first time i ever talked to her i thought she'd have a ol sweet lil voice. but once she started talking i was like wow " she has a lil thug in her". I'm like she gon be cursing me out in the near future... lol.

so one of my READERS talked about me talking about my favorite planet. so i thought about it. and ill like the M.....OOON. like even tho it isn't a planet but i wanna jump high and float n shit like the moon is a like a living bounce house. i saw this picture of a hotel that they were gonna make on the moon. fuck that i want a house on the Moon. that would be AWESOME. i wish i could buy the Moon. and be able to go there whenever i like. and don't have to worry about life down here. like that would be kool to me. ill still need cable tho.

i thought about if i had kids today, and i think in about 2 yrs it could happen. like having a lil mini me would be kool. i think id be stable enough to have one. ion no i seen this super cute baby today and she was SO pretty and good and she liked me. she kept coming to the cash register staring at me. i couldn't stop smiling I'm like damn shes gonna be beautiful when shes older... it i was like wow i want mine to be just like that. smart, beautiful and healthy ya no? and if i had one i already no my "FUTUREbabymomma" is beautiful, so no worries right?

like my favorite song i play everyday is Kanye west "i wonder"
listening to it helps me thinking and i like hearing it when I'm writing blogs.

You say he get on your fucking nerves
You hope that he get what he deserves, word
Do you even remember what the issue is
You just trying to find where the tissue is
You can still be who you wish you is
It ain't happen yet
And that's what the intuition is
When you hop back in the car
Drive back to the crib
Run back to their arms
The smokescreens
The chokes and the screams
You ever wonder what it all really mean?

yo, like this verse makes me start rocking harder like damn... my nigga be spittin yo. i like hearing it live too. whelp imma end this blog like i leave the others.... and umm... no crazy words imma call you today. FAG!

And I'm back on my grind
A psychic read my lifeline
Told me in my lifetime
My name would help light up the Chicago skyline
And that's what I'm
Seven o'clock, that's prime time
Heaven'll watch, God calling from the hot lines
Why he keep giving me hot lines
I'm a star, how could I not shine
How many ladies in the house
How many ladies in the House without a spouse
Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused
What you about?


31.7.08

Nite Time Part Two.

fuck all you . I'm mad i cant find my camera.
i wanted to put a photo up but i cant. sucks! anyway. i was gon record a blog today, but i realized...that i didn't sound as hot as i thought i did. shid, i was being just as goofy as i am in my blog. i couldn't sleep last nite. i was up pondering what I'm going to call you today in my blog. i called you a bitch yesterday so imma go with...Whore. your a whore. and a ugly one. that's why you whore yourself for free. i saw your ad in the newspaper saying " I'm a transsexual, i whore for free". your a anal whore. if that's even something mean. ANAL WHORE!.

okay. so i when over my moms pastor's house to help her set up her BLOG SPOT. crazy that shes paying me fifteen bucks a hour just to do it. insane to me. like its super easy, but tryna explain it to someone is harder than i thought I'm like damn! i just repeated myself like a gillion times. but i love working with her. shes fun and kool. so she wants to do podcast and things of that nature, so i got her the recording software and she did her first one today. imma rapper and i was amazed like...she free styled a whole scripture i was like whoa, i have to give her a hand clap.

blah so anyway ever had double cheeseburgers with bacon? its good......when its hot.... :(
mind got cold and it was hard to shallow, i almost died. were any of you gonna miss me? i was just on Adina's blog right. and i remember she used to look like a nerd, now she got like cool looking eyes and a nose ring...i think sex is the root of all evil :(. -rubs you back- your a bad girl now!woo!.

[UPDATED!]
i did the most weirdest thing in my life...smh so this female i no i ask her what sites do she be on. she replies " my space, crush spot, and downelink". so I'm like hm i never heard of downelink imma check it out. I'm like HM i wonder if alot off ppl from cs and my space are on here. so i get on and while I'm making the account it gets to orientation so I'm looking for straight and i don't see nothing...so i see "downe" so I'm thinking..okay maybe that's there version of "straight". so i make the page uploaded a photo and EVERYTHING so I'm like okay!. I'm good to go. so i started searching for friends and shit and I'm not seeing anyone that looks familiar....so i started noticing everyone thing said..."bisexual....lesbian....gay.....tranny.......ahem ...[HOLD UP]
TRANNY??!!!!!!@$!!#$
CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK TYPE TYPE TYPE!!
"you account is being deleted give us five minutes"
bitch five minutes my ass, ASAP!!!.
i got off the computer after that :(

so like Ive been sick off and one..its real kinda depressing but I'm getting over it. talking about it is making it better but ion like saying anything about it. imma stop being so wishie washie and just be like fucking it and go back to being super blunt. but its hard cause i actually care about peoples feelings. if i was heartless,....i wonder if ppl would still like me. ha. to bad I'm not. deal with it