Abyss...

my face is the tightest as its even been in a while. my earbrows are almost touching eachother and my lips arent moving. feels like their stuck together. my eyes are fluttering. i havent felt this way since Anthony died. i havent felt this way since...never. i didnt drop a tear cause im sad. nor did i drop one because someone died.i dropped one for me. i dropped one because im misunderstood, miscalculated, misinterpreted.im judged before knowledge of who i am. im indirectly bashed in ways i never knew existed.you dont know what ive been through, so theirfore you will never know why this effects me the way it does. im being judged base on nothingness. what do you know about me. you know my name is Antione. thats about it.

i was thinking i was being dodged. i felt in my gut something wasnt right. not even that i felt that something is changing. i couldnt put my finger on it, but i knew it. for a minute i could tell. i just didnt know exactly what it was. Lajai told me dont think so hard, cause it might not even be how im taking it. but it was. not exactly but i was right.

so what im in a rock in a hard place or am i in a nonexistence place. i dont even no what else to say cause i felt something of the sort coming along. i just didnt know how it would come. and i never had a feeling like this. to make my face turn upside down and dropp one tear out my left eye. like im lost for words cause i feel like " what kinda bull shit is this". so am i pose to be forgotten or am i pose to accept the bullshit? like what am i to say to this? what kinda conclusion do i make of this situation?

whatever...and is that just it. or is it more to it....
will i find out.. whatever ... fuck typing.

youve made other decisions on you own, whats different in this one?