L.I.F.E.

Young and confused
With nothin to lose
But somethin' to prove
My hunger my views
I use them as tools
To refuse for the sake of rebellin'
Breakin the rules and yellin'
Tellin them to come and walk in my shoe

so yea, i been like debating if i would write a blog or note for about a day and a half now.
like last nite i was in the shower just thinkin like. wtf do i do now. like i remember i was in school one day and we was talking about where do we see our selves in 5 - 10 years. and i couldn't even see my self at eighteen. or grown. and as the days creep up, im glad i don't feel that way anymore but its funny how things get pushed up on you that you never had pushed on you before. and one thing i gotta learn is to stop worrying about what people think. even family. i used to be so worried about letting them down that i forgot about my self, and that this is my life and i gotta worry about me first before anyone or anything else.

Another thing is, man when i was younger i was super lazy. like didn't wanna do shit and i know why now. it wasn't because i didn't want too or just too lazy, its because i have/had a serious problem with authority. i don't like people telling me nothing or what to do. but the funny part about it i was scared to speak up for my self. and in the lastly years ive came to realize that, i don't give a fuck. like im done being what people wanted me to be and worried about other peoples opinions. and im starting to finally focus on what need to be focused on and thats antwan.

also man im really getting sick of my job. like that our so unorganized and annoying and everything. and im tired of my hours change every week wtf i mean damn keep that shit steady. but im finally looking for another job and im really really hoping i get the fuck outta Michigan sometime within the next year or so. im just really wanna get the fuck outta here like, michigan isn't a bad place to be. but when moneys involved i know i can have a way better opportunity else where. and im not saying that there isn't any jobs. its just way more difficult that other places.

then i start thinking about relationships. i know i know. the same topics seen to occur over and over here. but hey bitch! these are my blogs. read it or die. but anyway eh, i just be wonder what if alot now. and im not even in one yet. but im just don't wanna jump the gun or i dont wanna be let down. i want everything to happen how its suppose to. and i know the saying " if its meant then it will happen" but if it don't, i think that id be really done. like seriously, because like , i see like as god presents new people in my life one after one, they do seem to get better and better. and its like damn this is like the end of the rope, it don't get much better than that twan, so u gotta be on your p's and q's.
and i think im blessed for real for real for all ive been through and the downs to start to turn around in 08.

so damn lupe fiasco "gold watch" keeps playing and my damn music player id on shuffle.
so i guess that means one thing.

[yea yea, she loves it over here
its just, yea yea she loves it over here]



...yea im talking about you .