goin down

welp let me update.

birthday was a success. better than i expected. damn i got drunk, i got to hang out but i also had to work. sucked. but wasnt as bad as i thought. im still feening for a xbox. i been over my cousins alot just to play GTAIV. wow thats something i gotta have. alot of people saying im goofy for wanting one. but damn its wtf i want. i don't go around telling yall what yall should get so chill. ho. these niggas make me sick. tryna tell me what to do with my money. nigga go buy yo week and not make no money n shut up.

speakin of that, i gave my brother 50 buck to start his hustle cuz he was practically begging. so i did and this retart goes and buys the worse case of weed i ever saw in my life. this she was so shaky. everyone in the hood is complain lol. giving me a bad reputation! cnat have that. so he made my fifty back and tryna get me to put back in. im like IM STRAIGHTTTTT.

so i ended up giving my mom some money she better gimme it all back or imma be mad. thats my birthday money. thats my xbox money! shit.....

i wrote a lil poem ahem here goes.

Dear Lady,
miscommunation must be a pain,
thinkin that your alone, no umbrella in the rain
but i came to the decision that maybe we're all trippin
no frontin this way, your character is what im missin
a man on a mission, and my target is your precession
to get you in that position to be gettin all thee attention
listen, alot is going down but nothing that cant be overcame.
see in my brain is a dream that we can progess doing the same.
this like a war of emotions, and yea you got the potion
the antidote to my boat thats sink and u keep afloat
puff my inhaler to forever keep hope alive
i no youll ride, but soon your been in the position to drive
so stay on course i see they tryna drive you off road
dont get soft stay strong dont stop moving baby keep going on
imma congratulate ya
no time for hesitating
no fear im here when u need restoration.
ill revive the love in side i put my life at stake
ill never leave your side no matter how much they try to hate.
dont think my feeling is dry you help me live.
so imma stay as long as you down ya dig?

Sincerly yours...

yup

welp,

im seriously like left in confusion. i don't no which way my ship is sailing. i don't no what the hell is going on really now days. and its not even anything i can put my finger on. i feel left out like damn. what happened to the team. like damn i feel like were those your true colors or were they just something you liked for the moment. i mean i really don't no how to explain whats going on. i feel pushed to the side and forgetting like some old ass clothing trends....

and like feel like it don't matter like, "welp whatever's going on with me is my problem and doesnt include you". thats not a team effort. ball hog.Indian giver. loser. but real talk. i feel like if anything be real with me, its never been a factor before, so why is it now?. I've always been 100 with you. i feel like it should be the same exact way. and im not selfish i take what you say in consideration, and in return...i cant get it back. and seems like content.

i talked to Lajai, she said im overwhelming my self. that im thinking to hard, maybe i am. but ion no what to think when no ones tryna give me a direction. all i have is my instincts. and my nature instinct is to lock up. like ion no what to do. and for you to actually tell me whats really the deal would help greatly....

what a great b day present...

[oh...yeah.. my b day is Sunday...woohoo...]